The first thing that comes to mind is how the kids are going to handle the news that their parents have decided to go their separate ways. Divorcing couples with kids may find it difficult to break the news to them. Once they do, deciding on a parenting plan can become a difficult decision. Both parents may even file for sole custody to spite one and other. In doing so, they are only harming their children.
Children don’t want to see their parents constantly trying to put down each other. Although parents may take caution when they speak, in the heat of the moment, wrong things may come out. To help ease the tense situation that may have developed in your household due to your announcement, you may want to acquire the services of a divorce mediator to assist you develop a parenting plan that you both can agree on:
1. Develop a Plan to Suit a Child’s Needs
The children may be under a lot of stress upon hearing such sudden news even if they had predicted that this would be the outcome. Due to the constant argument, and then the divorce announcement, they may be filled with a variety of emotions. The parenting plan is developed keeping your child current developmental, temperamental, and emotional needs in mind.
2. Address Looming Problems Prior to Going to Court
You may have sought child custody divorce mediation because you wanted to lessen the pain your children felt. If some problems regarding the child’s upbringing and the issue on who will get the child on what days, can be addressed during divorce mediation. It will save you both the trouble to decide this beforehand with a mediator, as this issue can take on a heated nature in the courtroom.
3. Divorce Mediation Helps Parents See Straight
When couples dislike each other, their judgment on certain issues can become clouded. A divorce mediator helps you see straight. They help you come to a mutual understanding of the underlying issue at hand. By presenting you with good conflict resolution skills, your children will learn to adopt them as well.
4. Parenting Plan Conveys a Positive Message
When two parents are at odds with each other, everyone expects to see a fight. To avoid being the town gossip, set an example for the school, other parents, and most importantly for your kids. Come up with a detailed parenting plan that addresses both the partners concerns about their kids. The children will definitely see the upside of this for their parents are finally collaborating on something, which concerns them.
5. Divorce Mediation Exposes Parents to Co-Parenting Issues
With a third person present in the room, it will help parents see more clearly. The trained mediator will present them issues that can become a hurdle for them in the future if not dealt with them earlier. The plan, when drawn up, will address all of those issues.
Gerald A. Maggio is a trained Irvine divorce mediator who has amicably resolved cases many cases out of court, as well as an experienced divorce and family law attorney. Mr. Maggio founded California Divorce Mediators in 2012 with the belief that although “not every marriage can be saved, every family can” and a mission to save families from the financial and emotional distress associated with traditional divorce litigation. California Divorce Mediators is located in Irvine, California, and serves the Orange County area and other counties in California offering divorce mediation, child custody mediation and mediation of other family law matters.